Since coming back from Virginia I have had a terrible time dealing with TV. At my parents house the TV is almost always running and usually pretty loud. My mom helped me by moving my chair out from under the TV so that I didn’t have it blaring directly behind my head. That definitely made a difference. But the constant TV is still leaving me with this uncomfortable feeling every time the TV is on at my house. I keep leaving the room to find someplace quiet. Of course this isn’t really fair to everyone else who lives here. Both my husband and my daughter like watching shows. I definitely don’t begrudge them that. I just don’t want to be in the same room as the running television. But me leaving makes them feel like they can’t watch TV, which is not what I want. It’s just overstimulating. And I can’t hear myself think so that I can write or read or create anything or even just enjoy some quiet.
I have a love-hate relationship with television. There are some shows that I really like, but even then I don’t like to watch them all the time. Overall I actually hate television. I’ve gotten better at watching movies. I went through a period of time where movies were too stimulating and I didn’t even like to go see them in the theater, but I improved. The TV has some really interesting documentaries that I like and some very artistic shows that I enjoy, but yet truthfully for me it is just a big box of noise and speed and anxiety. I secretly hate the TV. I tried to spend some time by myself when I was at my parents house. A lot of that is just that since I am bipolar and I have anxiety I need some time to myself in general. I cannot function if I am being social 24/7. But part of why I went back to the room I was staying in was just to get away from that TV. Everyone else has a right to watch as much TV as they want. I just can’t stand to listen to it.
I am diving deeper into art and writing. I still have all these great books to read, and I have begun with a book of persona poetry. And of course the book about homemaking that I have been writing about.
I got up early this morning and went for a drive. I like to do that, to just get out and put on some music I like and enjoy some space.
I am trying to get rid of my social exhaustion but so far I have not been very successful. I enjoy being back in my little nest with my little family, but I just don’t really want to talk that much. I keep to myself with my books or magazines or paints. I blog because for some reason I seem to be able to pour thoughts out on the page better than I can to another person. I have some friends that I would like to get together with but I just don’t seem to have it in me right now.
Truthfully I wish I could take a separate trip. All alone in a quiet little room with books to read and paints to use and a pen for writing. Just absolute silence except for the rare occasion I want to play some music. No TV. No interruptions. No conversation. Just me alone.
Today I went to the podiatrist to get the results of my MRI. I am still having pain when I walk and when I take the stairs. He said the basically my bones are swelling. I’m not sure how that works. In the notes from the people who did my MRI it said that it looks like I may still have a bone infection, but the doctor doesn’t think so. He gave me a cortisone shot in my ankle joint. Let me tell you that is not pleasant. He froze my foot first with this can of cold air so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been but it definitely hurt. He stuck that needle there and put a whole bunch of cortisone in. My foot is still swollen.
When I got home I hung out with a friend and we watched the movie Passengers. I haven’t seen it before. It was really good. It would have been nice to see it in theaters. Definitely a worthwhile movie to watch.
We have an offer on the condo! For the past two years we have been landlords with a condo in Virginia Beach. This time around we didn’t want to keep the condo so we put it on the market for sale and someone has given us an offer. So if everything goes well will be selling it. Of course it could fall through and we’ll have to sell to someone else or be landlords again, but I think everything is going to work out.
Being a landlord hasn’t been bad, although it has been stressful recently with coordinating showings around the tenants. But we do have quiet tenants that have always paid on time. But in January when we move to Colorado we are already going to be landlords for our little yellow house here in Moyock. We didn’t want to be landlords of two properties from such a long distance. A lot can go wrong and it can get expensive.
It will be hard to finally say bye to the condo. It was the first home that Craig ever bought, and it was the first home of our married lives. It’s the house we brought the baby back to when she was a newborn. It definitely has a lot of sentimental value. But you can’t make business decisions based purely on sentimental value and having too many rental properties when we’re going to be halfway across the country is a big liability. Someday we might go into the landlording business but I don’t think we want to do that until we are more settled. And even then it is only a maybe.
I’ve decided to write about Moyock, North Carolina in the hopes that I might meet other bloggers and writers in Moyock, Elizabeth City, and the surrounding area in Currituck and the Outer Banks. Whenever I read my blogging magazines I’m always struck by how many bloggers meet other bloggers and crafters because they find out from one another’s blogs that they are writing from the same place. I’d love to meet another blogger in Moyock. Surely there must be one, although it is a small town. But I can’t be the only one here dreaming out loud on the internet.
I blog from deep in Moyock in a little yellow cottage with white shutters and a room over the garage. It is a new house with lots of windows. We built it from the ground up, choosing the floor plan and the cabinets and counter tops. My rooms are all bright, from the bright, pure white of the living room to the neon green of my craft room, the neon orange of the laundry room, and the sexy red of my master bedroom. Next I want to paint the FROG grape purple, and paint a bathroom dream blue.
On cold winter nights I enjoy the clear view of the stars that Moyock has. In Virginia Beach, where we used to live, you can hardly see any stars from all the light pollution. But here in Moyock you can see thousands of stars. I also like the large lot sizes. It’s nice to be in a neighborhood but yet still have so much space.
Of course, living in Moyock has also been an adjustment. It is the most rural place I’ve ever lived, and two years into being here I’m still not used to having to drive 30-40 minutes minimum to go to the places I want to go. I drive a bit more than an hour to go to my favorite beach. It takes me an hour to get to my parents’ house. But I do love the quiet, the space, and the seclusion.
Are you dreaming, crafting, parenting, blogging, or doing anything else interesting from Moyock, North Carolina or near there? If you are, I hope you get in touch. Comment or email me.
My friendships are all pastel.
If I do not hold them close by their mint fingers,
children in a meadow of death,
they will fly away.